Now What?
by See Jane Write
Summary: Sam's reaction to her pregnancy for lack of better summary. Takes place right after Ruby Redux and therefore has spoilers for that episode. Samka. Please read and review. Chapter Three up.
1. Default Chapter

Now What?

Disclaimer: Sam, Luka, the events happening on _ER_ are in no way property of me.

Author's Note: I know, I know. I've been on hiatus for too long, but this was the perfect opportunity to get back to writing. Hopefully I'll update soon. J

Chapter One

Samantha Taggart stood impatiently in front of Luka's bathroom counter. She was dressed in a light blue bathrobe, and her wet hair was hanging loose down her back. She glanced down at the small stick on the counter again, trying to see if it showed a result yet.

She frowned and let out a small groan as she still failed to see a change. No line was forming. According to the instructions on the box, there should be a purple line. She picked the pregnancy test up carefully and studied it closely. There was still no line.

"Do I really want there to be one?" Sam muttered to herself as she dropped the stick into the trashcan. She quickly tossed a few tissues on top of it to try and hide the evidence that she had taken a pregnancy test. "I hated being pregnant with Alex, and while I love him, labor's a bitch," she tried to reason. She glanced into the trashcan again. ­_On the other hand, ­_she thought. ­_No, no other hand, _she quickly scolded herself._ This kind of thing is not what you or Luka need right now. Raising Alex is enough._

Sam shook her head slightly as she opened the door a crack. The cool air from outside felt good against her warm skin. While she tried to put all emotions behind her, she realized such a thing was impossible. She was late by almost three weeks now.

"The test is wrong," she whispered softly as she took a small step out of the bathroom. She quickly looked in the room she was entering, hoping that Alex was not in there. Luckily for her, he was nowhere to be seen. That still did not mean he did not hear her. True, the sounds of his ongoing video game would most likely have covered her voice, but Sam could not be sure. "Alex?" she called at a normal tone of voice.

"What?" came the bored, uninterested response from the other room.

"Nothing," Sam quickly responded. "Are you hungry?" she asked as she approached the couch where Alex was lying down playing video games. She stood there for a moment before deciding to sit down at the other end of the couch.

Alex shrugged as he moved his feet for his mother. "Maybe a little," he responded while keeping his focus on the television screen in front of him. "I thought Luka was bringing food."

Sam groaned slightly again at this. While she would normally appreciate Luka getting and cooking them some food, this would not work for her. She was hungry now, and she did not know how long it would take Luka to get out of County, get some food, and prepare it. Of course, if he only stopped at a McDonalds, there would be no need for preparing food, but still. Sam was hungry, and she did not feel she could wait for Luka.

"Isn't he?" Alex asked a moment later.

"Hmm?" Sam asked as she drifted away from her thoughts. She glanced over at Alex. "What was that?"

Alex raised an eyebrow at his mother as he put the game on pause. "Are you ok?" he asked as he looked at Sam. "I asked if Luka was still bringing food."

"Oh," Sam said distantly. "Yes, he is."

"And he's not going to be tied up?" Alex asked curiously.

"Not to my knowledge," Sam replied as she stood up slowly.

"Then I can wait," Alex said as he resumed his game.

"Maybe you can, but I can't," Sam muttered as she began making her way to the kitchen.

"What?" Alex asked without taking his attention off the game.

"Nothing," Sam responded as she walked over to Luka's fridge. _I definitely have to be pregnant. I never get **this**__ hungry after a shift. It was only forty minutes since I ate that bag of chips from the grocery store._­­ She opened the fridge slowly, scanning her choices. There was not much left in there, but there would be enough to last her an hour or so until Luka would return home.

"Carrots, lettuce, cheese," Sam muttered to herself as she picked up each item. She shrugged, tossing the lettuce and cheese towards the back of the fridge. She grabbed the bag of baby carrots as well as a small container of Ranch dip. Normally she despised the thing, but for some reason she wanted it this time.

"Yea, the test was definitely wrong," Sam told herself as she sat down at the kitchen table. She opened the container of dip and the bag of carrots. With her head propped up in her left hand, she began using her right hand to get some dip on the carrots and then eat them.

_What am I going to do?_ she thought to herself. _What am I supposed to tell Luka? Is this even something he wants now. I know he mentioned something about it earlier, but that was a long time ago. I might have turned him off the idea with my rantings about how much of a pain pregnancy and labor are. Plus, do I really have the time to deal with another little child? I still have to work._

_ Oh god, _Sam thought as that whole mess began filling her mind. She shuddered slightly. _Work._ The word sounded so negative. _How am I going to tell Susan? She should be ok with this, right? This happened to her not too long ago. She has a baby. On the other hand, she also has Chuck to stay there at home all day with Cosmo. I can't stay home with this child. Alex is too young to watch it._

She groaned again. Alex. _What am I supposed to tell my son? _"Ugh, this is too complicated," she said out loud as she held her head in her hands. She groaned again as she felt her headache coming back to her all over again. _Am I even allowed to take over the counter medicine without hurting this damn child?_ _No, I shouldn't refer to it as that. It may be annoying and coming at the worst possible time, but it's still mine. Provided it's even there, that is. It has to be there. I've already got the signs. Hungry, craving weird foods, mood swings. My period's three weeks late now. I have to be pregnant._

Sam frowned, knowing she would not be able to rest until she knew for sure whether or not she actually was pregnant. _There's another stick in that box, right? _She thought about it for a moment as she stood up slowly. She quickly closed the container of dressing and bag of carrots. She tossed them into the fridge and proceeded to the bathroom. She quickly closed and locked the door behind her just to be sure Alex would not try to enter or wonder why she was in the bathroom so soon. True, he might not have even realized that she went in, but Sam could not be sure. The only thing she could be sure of was whether or not this was for real.

She quickly retrieved the small box with pregnancy tests from under the pile of her dirty clothes. _Ok, there's one more in here._ She sighed slightly as she positioned herself to take it.

Luka Kovac smiled as he unlocked the door to the apartment he and Sam now shared. In his left hand, he held a large bag of take-out Chinese food. It was not as good as the expensive restaurants, but it was Chinese nonetheless. "Hey, I'm home," he called into the apartment. He knew someone was in the house as he could hear noises from the television.

Just then the noises stopped and he heard someone turn the television off. "Alex, that you, buddy?" he asked as he walked into the kitchen and placed the food down on the counter.

"Yea," Alex said as he appeared in the doorway to the kitchen. "Whatcha bring?" he asked.

"Chinese," Luka answered as he reached for some plates. He glanced back at Alex and the lack of Sam. "Did your mom come home?" he asked.

"Yea," Alex answered as he grabbed a can of Coke from the fridge and opened it. "I think she's sleeping," he added as he sat down at the table.

"Understandable," Luka noted as he began emptying some rice with chicken sauce onto Alex's plate. "She had a long day." He walked over to the young boy, placing the plate in front of him. "Did she say anything before she went to sleep? Eat anything? Should I wake her and tell her I have food, or just let her sleep?"

Alex shrugged. "I dunno. She came home, took a shower, then came out here for a little, then went back. She asked me if I was hungry, but I said I could wait."

Luka smiled slightly at the boy. "I'll go check on her," he told Alex as he patted the boy's head. With that, he left the kitchen and started heading for the bedroom he and Sam shared. The door was left open a crack, so Luka figured it was safe to enter. He carefully opened the door a little further. "Sam?" he whispered before opening the door all the way. He then frowned, noting that the bed was just as he had left it that morning. Perfectly made and without any trace that Sam had been in the room. "Uh, Alex, you sure she's sleeping?" he called.

"Pretty sure, but I wasn't paying that much attention," the young voice responded from the kitchen.

"She didn't leave or anything, did she?" Luka called back.

"No," Alex answered truthfully.

Luka groaned slightly. "Sam?" he called as he walked around. He peeked his head into Alex's room and the guest room. Neither of them contained his girlfriend. He finally walked towards the bathroom. "Sam?" he called through the closed door as he knocked twice.

No answer.

He knocked a little harder and called her name again. "Come on, I know you're in there. Open up," he added.

No answer.

"Sam, you're freaking me out," he called. "If you don't open this door right now…" he started.

Still no answer.

"I'm opening the door," Luka warned as he tried to turn the metal knob. He frowned, finding it locked. He knocked even harder. "Come on, Samantha," he begged. "You're really starting to worry me."

No answer.

Luka's feelings were beyond worry at this point. _She could be unconscious in there,_ he thought to himself. Not knowing how long she might have been like that, Luka quickly rushed to find the thin but long screwdriver that would unlock the door. Upon finding it, he rushed towards the bathroom.

"Last chance, Sam," he called. "I'm opening the door."

No answer.

Keeping to his word, Luka stuck the screwdriver into the lock. He turned it slowly until he heard it click. He quickly pulled the screwdriver out and tossed it aside. He then threw the door open.

"My God," he exclaimed as he saw Sam sitting there in her bathrobe on the closed toilet. Her head was down, but she clearly was awake. Her hands were clasped together between her legs. "Sam, I called for you. Why didn't you respond? You really had me worried."

"Sorry," Sam responded in a soft, barely audible whisper. She still would not look Luka in the eye.

"What is it?" Luka asked, immediately getting the sense that something was not right. "Headache getting worse?" he asked sympathetically as he knelt down in front of her.

"No," Sam said in the same, soft voice. "I mean, yes, but that's not it."

"Then what is it?" Luka asked as he put an arm on Sam's left shoulder. He moved bits of her hair away from her face to try and look her in the eye. At Sam's silence, Luka continued, "Look, sweetie, whatever it is, we can deal with it."

"I know," Sam said softly. "I just don't know if I can."

"What?" Luka asked. His concern was growing with each lingering second. He had a strange feeling that whatever Sam was about to tell him, he would not like. "Sweetie, what is it?" Luka asked as he picked up Sam's ashamed head.

Sam glanced into Luka's concerned eyes. She did not know how to tell him. She finally looked back down and opened her hands. Clutched inside was the pregnancy test she had taken only about an hour ago. The only difference between this one and the other one was that this one was positive. "This," Sam finally said as she held it up for Luka to see.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: It's still not mine.

Author's Note: Yes, I know it's been a while, and she's not actually pregnant, but if we stuck to the facts, where would the fun be?

Chapter Two

"This?" Luka repeated as he took the test from Sam's fingers. Holding it with both hands, Luka studied it carefully. The line in the second window clearly was there. It was not as dark as the line from the control window, but it was still there. He stood there, half in shock as he kept holding the test.

"Luka, you do realize I peed all over that thing, right?" Sam asked. Her voice finally reached a normal speaking level.

"What?" Luka asked as he came back towards reality. He glanced down at the test in his hands again. "Right," he added softly as he placed it down on the counter. His focus remained on the small light purple line in the second window. After what seemed like an eternity, he looked over to Sam. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"A little hungry," Sam admitted.

"I meant about the results," Luka corrected himself.

Sam frowned slightly as she tried to grasp what she was truly feeling. The initial shock of the result had not worn of yet. While she knew deep down that she was pregnant, she finally had proof. Her worst fears were coming true. She would have to do the whole thing all over again.

"Sam?" Luka asked at his girlfriend's silence. He knelt down so that he was in front of her and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Are you ok with this?"

"What kind of a question is that?" Sam finally exclaimed. "Am I ok with this?" she repeated the question back at Luka. Her voice was becoming shriller with each passing word. "Do I sound ok with this? Do I look ok with this? Why does this always have to be about how I'm feeling? What about you? How are you feeling? Are you ok with this?" She let out another large sigh. "Sorry," she said as her voice returned back to a normal tone.

"It's ok," Luka assured her as he rose from the ground. "You don't have to be ok with this yet."

"You didn't answer my question," Sam pointed out. "What are your thoughts? I'm still at shocked and surprised."

"As am I," Luka informed her sincerely as he extended his hand towards her. Sam clutched it tightly, and Luka pulled her up from the toilet. "Come on," Luka said as he wrapped an arm around her. "Let's get out of this room."

"Agreed," Sam responded as she followed Luka out of the bathroom. She flicked the lights off with her left hand before exiting. "Now what?" she asked softly. "I'm definitely not ready to tell Alex."

"Do you want me to?" Luka asked.

"No," Sam said again. "I don't want anyone to. Not yet. Not until I'm further along."

The two of them walked in silence towards the kitchen. There was a chance that Alex was still in the kitchen and therefore still in hearing range. "Hey," Alex said between a mouthful of food.

"Oh, I got Chinese," Luka said as he walked over to the counter. He opened the bag of food and began pouring some rice onto a plate for Sam. "What kind of sauce do you want?" he asked her curiously.

Sam dropped her mouth open in shock as she walked up to him. "How can you act normal?" she whispered as she took her plate from Luka.

"You said you didn't want to tell Alex, so I won't. I don't want him to suspect anything," Luka whispered back as he handed Sam the bag of Chinese take-out.

"But this is huge, and you're all normal about it," Sam whispered back. "We can't just treat this lightly. This is serious."

Alex looked curiously over at his mother and Luka. The two of them were whispering, but he could barely make out what they were saying. His mother's tone was slightly angry. At least that's what it sounded like to Alex. He could pick up a few words - "big", "serious", and "life-changing event".

"Are you guys having a fight?" he asked finally. His voice was loud enough to catch Sam and Luka's attention. Both their heads jerked up with that deer in the headlights expression.

"Not at all," Sam assured Alex. "Just something we need to discuss. You'll understand when you're older," she told him. Her eyes darted up to Luka.

Luka placed a comforting hand on Sam's back and guided her over to the table. "Let's just eat dinner," he said calmly. "We can talk about this later."

Sam groaned slightly, but said nothing. What other choice did she have? She would just have to behave normally until Alex grew bored and either went to bed or resumed playing video games.

The three of them sat there eating in the uncomfortable silence for the next ten minutes. No one dared say anything. They just ate. Sam's eyes met Luka's a few times, as did Alex's, but no one said anything. They just ate.

Finally Alex broke the silence. "Are there any fortune cookies?" he asked.

Luka nodded. "Certainly," he said as he rose from the table. He took his empty plate along with Alex's and Sam's and brought them over to the counter. He opened the bag and brought back three fortune cookies. He smiled as he sat down and handed one cookie to Sam and another to Alex. "There you are," he said. "What do you think?" he asked. "Should we do it at the same time?"

Alex shrugged. "Sure," he said. "One, two, three." At that instant, the three of them cracked open their fortune cookies. Alex pulled his piece of paper out first and frowned.

"What's the matter?" Sam asked. "You don't like it?"

"'Reward is only as good as effort put into it'," Alex read aloud. He frowned in disgust before eating his cookie. "I'm gonna go play video games," he announced as he left the room.

"Don't stay up too late," Sam begged before she turned to Luka. "What about you?" she asked.

"'Time and persistence are the keys to doing a good job'," he read. "I'm starting to think Weaver writes these things," he added with a small laugh. "What have you got?"

Sam unfolded her piece of paper. She blinked twice before reading it. "'Unexpected surprises are blessings in disguise'," she read. "It's not Weaver. It's mothers with too much time on their hands."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Sam did not need her alarm clock to wake her up the next morning. That was one of the major downsides to being pregnant - the morning sickness. She grumbled as she pushed herself to get up out of bed. She had to for crying out loud. Luckily for her and Luka, she made it there in time.

Luka appeared in the doorway moments later. "I love you," he told her as he walked over and knelt down next to her.

"Bite me," Sam responded as she extended one hand and flushed the toilet. "You're not the one barfing in the toilet for me. You're not going to do the labor for me."

Luka shook his head as he pulled her hair away from her face. "No, you're right. I won't go through labor for you, but I will be with you. I'll give you the epidural as soon as you get to the hospital, I promise."

In spite of how awful she felt because of the pregnancy, Sam had to smile. It was slight, but it was still there. "Remember, we have the OB/GYN appointment today at four," Sam reminded him.

"Can you clear that with Lewis?" Luka asked. "I'm working nights, so it's not a problem for me, but you're still on days, aren't you?"

Sam sighed. "I'll talk to her," she said. "I mean, this is going to require me to need some time off, especially towards the end. I don't want to get into specifics until after the appointment, but I'll let her know what's going on."

Luka nodded. "Right."

"But Luka?" Sam asked.

"Hmm?"

"No one else," Sam told him seriously. "I'm only talking to Lewis because she's my boss. No one else can know."

"Well, we can't keep it secret forever."

Sam sighed. "I know, but for now."

Luka nodded. "For now," he agreed as he kissed her gently.

* * *

Sam's heart was pounding as she entered the ER that morning. She had to find Susan, and convince her to talk in a private place. "Jerry," she said as she walked up to the main desk. "Has Dr. Lewis been in yet? It's important."

Jerry shrugged. "I just got here," he told the nurse. "Try the lounge."

Sam rolled her eyes at him as she walked over to the doctor's lounge. "Susan?" she asked softly as she opened the door slightly. "Susan, you in here?"

Susan Lewis turned around to face her. "Hey," she greeted. She looked at the nurse and noted the exhaustion in her eyes. "You know, Sam, if you're not feeling well, a phone call would suffice."

Sam shook her head as she sat down on the couch next to Susan. "That's not it," she said. "I need to talk to you about my schedule."

"I told you that I can't always put you and Luka together," Susan pointed out. "I'm sorry."

Sam shook her head again. "That's not it either," she said. "I'm going to need to leave early this afternoon," she admitted. "I know, I should have cleared this with you a while ago, but I'm sorry. It just kind of…came up."

Susan raised a suspicious eyebrow at Sam. "This isn't so you and Luka can do something kinky before he has to work, is it?"

"A thousand gallons of no," Sam said seriously. She sighed as she looked up at the ceiling for a moment. Susan had to know. She was her boss. She was going to found out eventually, and it was better that she knew then.

"Is everything ok?" Susan asked. Her tone switched to concern. Sam was avoiding eye contact and asking for time off that afternoon suddenly. Something had to be up.

Sam shrugged. "It's not the worst thing that could happen," she admitted. "I guess I'm not sure how I feel about it yet." She sighed again. "I have an OB/GYN appointment at four. I'm going to need to leave at three thirty."

There. Her secret was out. No one else besides Susan and Luka knew it, but someone else besides her and Luka knew about the baby.

"Well then let me be the first to congratulate you," Susan said warmly. "How far along?" she asked. "I'm just curious," she added. "If you don't feel like talking about it, I completely understand."

Sam shrugged again. "It's better than working on the MVA that's coming in."

"There's an MVA?" Susan asked as she reached for her doctor coat.

"Pratt, Abby, and Chuny can handle it," Sam assured Susan.

Susan eyed her suspiciously again, but she did place her coat back down on the couch.

"Oh, um, you're the only one who knows about this besides Luka, and I'm only telling you because I need the time off," Sam said seriously. "We'd both appreciate it if you kept this to yourself, at least for the time being."

Susan nodded understandingly. "Your secret's safe with me," she promised. "So how far along?"


End file.
